throwabookatit | small medium at large

[ That is...absolutely not what she'd expected. ]

Wh-what? Maya, you- a spirit? But I thought- you said you needed- huh?

I know... I know what the official rules of the technique are. But... I still want to try!

[It might be nearly impossible, but miracles happen every day.]

I want to show what I'm capable of!

[ Her mouth is dry. Just like that? Just...right here, right now? ]

This is all so...very sudden, Maya, I- wh-what do you need me to do?

I... [Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty sudden for her as well.] I've been thinking about it for a while, about that time we talked about it in the classroom.

[About how she still hasn't managed to summon Mia.]

Well, I-I'm not sure what you can do, actually. Is there anyone specific you would like me to try channeling? I already have an idea, just in case!

[ In a flash, without a moment's hesitation, with a tinge of desperation: ]

Isabella Santos. I- I want to talk to...her. Belle. My...my friend.

[There's a similar desperation to Maya's voice, but she's keeping it subdued.]

Isabella Santos.... got it.

[She starts to sit, legs tucked underneath her. She motions for Rebecca to do the same.]

Is there anything else?

[ She follows suit, immediately. ]

What else do you need? She- her full name is Maria Isabella Grace Santos, and she's 26, a few inches shorter than me, she's got long, brown hair that she always wears up, and she's Filipina, and she's...got a big...big family...

[ The more she says, the more she starts faltering, the desperation slipping through a little more. ]

And...she died...just a few...weeks ago...

...I'm so sorry.

[It's a terrible thing to lose someone like that so quickly. She remembers how it feels.]

I think that might be enough. I'll... I'm going to try now. I just need to concentrate and... quiet.

[Please, let this work.]

Please.

[ Her voice breaks. Please, something... Something to stop this overwhelming, toxic guilt, clawing at her.

Please, Belle. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please... ]

[Breaths in, and out.]

Okay.

[She's going to try, regardless of what she knows she can and can't do. She's done amazing things before, right? She summoned her sister when they really needed her before. If she tries, if she really tries. Then maybe...

She readies herself, earnestly attempting to reach into her core, release the energies there, and beckon to the spirit possessing the name front and center in her mind.

And she focuses. She focuses and prays, and hopes that she can reach through to the other side, like she tried to before, back in Kurain.

She keeps focusing, and then....]

[....Nothing happens.

Try as she might, yell as loudly into the spiritual void as she can, no spirits were answering her call.

She sits there continually attempting, only to be... to be blocked. She's never felt this disconnected from her power before.

Or this useless.

And as the seconds wear on, she knows Rebecca will start to notice that something's wrong as well.]

[ The longer time stretches on, the more desperate Rebecca grows. Desperate, hopeful, longing.

I'm sorry, Isabella. I'm sorry, I was so harsh. I'm sorry, I should've come to see you sooner. I'm sorry, if I had just been nicer, maybe...

...maybe you would still be alive.

Leaning forward, eerily still as if held up by a string. She waits, she... ]

...Nothing's...happening...is it?

[ For all her apologies, Isabella will never hear them. ]

[Her eyes are still screwed tightly shut, as she was trying to focus before. Now, she's not sure she can look Rebecca in the eye. But she has to say something, especially when she hears that worried tone.

She didn't expect herself to sound so weak though.]

I... I can't... I can't do anything...

[ She wants, still, to believe Maya. But, she can't help the thoughts snaking their way through, stupid to hope anyway, stupid Becca, making their way around her throat and squeezing so she can't say a word. This is something Isabella would've done. What did you tell her- what did Ashton say? Ghosts aren't real. Stupid, stupid, of course nothing happened--

But to say that, any of that, while Maya's so vulnerable, it would be cruel. And it was cruel words that got her here, to begin with, her own fiery temper and stubborn words. She's not about to hurt another person, with her skepticism. So she shakes her head to pull herself from the thoughts, swallows them down deep with all the other bitter little shreds of emotion boiling inside her. Until there's nothing but a crushing, gut-wrenching sorrow, radiating from every inch of her. ]

Maya... I- it's fine. You said it was...a long shot anyway, you don't... You don't have to...

[How often had she lived with the public belief that her entire profession, the thing she was born into and destined to become the master of, was a lie? The thought of others here believing that was a crushing one....

Unbeknownst to Rebecca, of course. All of these feels crash together inside Maya, hiding under the desperate desire to appear like nothing is wrong, and her life isn't constantly falling apart around her.]

No... I wanted to give it a try. Even if it didn't work... even if I've tried it before, I was just hoping that maybe if I really put my mind to it... I could do something nice for you.

[ And that just makes it worse. That this girl is saying those things, that she just wanted to do something nice for her, and here's Rebecca...

Begging for this. Denouncing it. Thinking, why do it, if it wouldn't work in the first place? The direct reason that this girl's in pain. Christ, it's just as bad as all the horrible pits of jealousy toward Isabella, her best friend, that she's felt all these years. Just as bad as the crushing resentment from playing the role she herself claims as her own.

Good job, Becca. Wonderful job. And now, all she has are the feelings in her gut, making her sick. ]

Maya... [ Find something to say. Find something helpful to say. ] ...The fact that you tried... I appreciate it. Even know this, I... Thank you. Really.

small medium at large

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject