Rebecca Gales (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
throwabookatit) wrote2018-09-18 04:04 am
throwabookatit) wrote2018-09-18 04:04 am
Entry tags:
From The Desk: IC Notes
[ There's a few things on Rebecca's desk. For one, a set of letters. For another? She's got two notebooks. One, her thoughts on everyone. Sort of. And two? Well, it's this. In the front of it, a horribly graphic (WARNINGS FOR CRUSHED SKULL, EYE TRAUMA, EXPOSED BRAIN, DISLODGED BONE) crime scene photo of Rebecca with her head smashed in sits nestled between cover and page. It's marked 10/30/2016. ]
Day 10
The man Oswald has given us a promise of a reward. After making sure Mister Anderson was alright, I went to talk with Mister Young immediately.
What I learned, I never could've imagined. The man's a spy. He's undercover, apparently, here to investigate the anomalies of this bloody school. To investigate the organization Hale works for. In actuality, he knows nothing about us, was pulled in here at the start of his investigation. I wanted to scream it from the rooftops.
He told me no one could know. That the administration finding out would jeopardize everything. I don't know if I can trust him, but
But I can trust his fear.
I made him promise me, that if we get out of here, he would provide me with the technology to save Isabella, should it exist. Then I'll keep his secret.
Extorting a man, never thought anything would come to that. But here we are, I guess. For Isabella, I would do it.
And so I can stop feeling this unbearable guilt.
Day 14
Someone's killed. Someone who I spoke with and thought was a decent human. Damn him. Damn Grantaire, damn what he's making me think about and question. My feelings aren't anything like his, are they?
I can't say anymore.
To be focusing on this when someone died. Just what kind of person am I?
I spoke with Mister Young once more. He said, he was going to give me reason to trust him. He was trying to accomplish that by shutting down the robots that carried out Grantaire's execution.
It failed, of course. But he was at his wit's end. I think maybe he actually does want to help us.
It can't make me like him, though. He's self-important, self-centered. Didn't even understand why I would be so cold to him at first.
But, if he's undercover, maybe it explains a bit?
Day 15
I remembered something. It wasn't a dream. I remembered it. Comforting Ashton. It was too real to be a dream, and it wasn't like any of my normal nightmares. I've got to confront Mister Young about this, or the damn man Hale, if he'd just show his damn face.
Day 17
We're being made to hallucinate. I'm terrified. It's Belle, Ash, it's all reminding me of what I've lost. I'm terrified and I'm furious.
Hale's no help. The man's only in a position to appear like he has power, but he's being fucked around with like the rest of us. At least he seemed to actually listen when I told him, if he was an actual professor he'd care what his students were being put through. That he's no right to demand sympathy or respect, or anything like that.
He said he'd tell me whatever I wanted to know, that he did. But, with Belle haunting me, I couldn't concentrate. I'll step back in, when I've had time to catch my breath.
Day 21
I, Rebecca Gales, am dead.
At least, I was before all of this. Connor presented me with a photograph. I keep trying to wrap my head around it. I'm horrified thinking of it. Whatever killed Belle killed me too. And I forgot it. I completely forgot.
Mister Young told me the things we've received weren't fake. That wasn't fake. But isn't that the thing of it, then? They can bring people back. I'm proof. I was dead, I was undeniably dead, and these people plucked me up regardless. Mister Young discouraged me from pursuing this path. But I have to. With that, I could save Belle. I could stop all that shite from happening in Luxbourne. I need to find out how they did that, and I need to make it mine.
Don't give them a reason to tempt me? I won't. I'll steal it from them after clawing my way out of this hellish place.
Maybe, then, the ones who haven't deserved what's happened here tooViral could
In any case. I think I've formed an alliance with him. Mister Young. He willingly gave me all the information he could steal from the administration about the virus, D-756. Or whatever it is. Told me to tell everyone I forced it out of him. I understand why. I haven't exactly been subtle about my thoughts on the man. If suddenly I acted as if I trusted his information, if I acted like there was a reason he would just give it to me
It'd be suspicious. We've decided to keep up appearances. I don't particularly like him, but if he's on our side, we need as many allies as we can get. Connor also cares for him. Maybe I could try, for his sake, to see the good in Mister Young.
Apparently, he's part of the Five Eyes...or, at least a subordinate corporation. He's a literal spy. Bloody hell, just what've we all been pulled into? Such a group sent this man? Someone out in this damn world has to care about what they're doing. Someone has to come for us. I'll keep telling myself that.
He's cut off from his organization's database now, though. Everything he can give to me is whatever he can take from the administration, without them finding it out.
He told me there's a spy among us, for Hale. For the administration. While it's a horrid shock, we were already speculating it before. It makes it all the more important to get as much information about what's going on here and why they're doing it as possible.
I'll try my hardest to assist, but I don't see what I can do.
At least, today, he tried to save Viral as well. For that, I'll try to place my trust in him.
Day 22
I found something. Something awful. An article, ripped apart and covered in blood, with Mister Young's picture. He's covered in blood. I think he'd witnessed something horrible. I took it to him, right away. He had to be made aware that this was here, and honestly I wanted a few answers myself.
I didn't expect to hear from him that he didn't remember the event at all. He was confused. He didn't understand.
He didn't remember.
When that became clear, he thought it might've been faked, but for what purpose? We tried to put together just what it could mean. Because, someone tucked that away in the library, or left it here, and there's got to be a reason for it.
Maybe the administration's messing with his memories as well. Something is surely strange about all this. He doesn't remember events how Hale and Vivienne do. The end of the world they were talking about, it never happened. The world was fine, Mister Young said. The Five Eyes, they weren't aware of it either. Hell, no one was even aware the D-756 had a name beyond hijacking.
But at the same time, the more we talked the more distressed he appeared about his memory problems. I can surely relate. I think I'm worried about the man. He's our hope in here, but also
To witness such a thing and not remember it. I'd have to be a mad woman, not to find it in my heart to care.
We tried to put things together. But whatever theories we shared, nothing seemed to match up. Nothing seemed to make sense. About the article, or about whatever differences there were between the way Hale and Vivienne remember events and how his organization does.
In the end, he entrusted the article to me. It scared him. I can understand why. Not all of us keep a damn reminder that they should be dead in their notebook. This kind of information seems on par with that.
I'm worried. Everything's getting more complicated.
Day 27
Those absolute bawbags made it so I couldn't read a single damn word this week. Everything's a mess, with the stupid investigation and Maya and what I learned about Ash
But I have to try and jot down what I learned from Hale.
First of all. It's 2219. Even though the textbooks from 2219 look in disrepair, they aren't years old like I believed they were.
They brought the D-756 here, by experimenting with worlds. When I say they, I mean someone much higher up. This is the story that's been told to Hale. Some bloody idiots were playing with things they didn't understand and caused all this. So they developed a plan. Their Headmaster did.
The idea? They needed heroes to combat this virus. Those who were unable to be corrupted, maybe they would be immune to it. And then, through that, they could understand how to combat it. It's a bunch of shite, but that's the gist of it. They torture a bunch of us until they find the ones who won't break, and with different worlds there's a wider pool to choose from. Especially since they can't locate and don't know the identity of Patient Zero.
Disgusting.
In the end, Hale's not even sure what's true and what's not, that's been told to him. But he has someone who he wants to help. Jules, I think the others said. And he said if it took our blood, his blood, he'd stain the path to find a cure.
I think I pity him just as much as I hate him.
Day 29
Han says they're getting closer. They stopped a robot, and now he thinks they can stop all of them. It'd be good if it weren't even needed, if no one would raise to the damn bait, but what they say about patterns and all.
He says he's working on that too. I wish he'll be careful.
Day 36
I'm more than dead. We all were. I'm bloody cursed. I hadn't realized what that meant. I had to watch. I knew Belle was there but she felt so
I can't describe it. I was losing myself by the minute. Trapped in that damn house, unable to move or do anything but scream, scream and watch as Zach joined, as Ash was tortured, killed! As Luke lost his damn mind and was
I can't begin to describe it. It's too sickening. That's where they all are. Being tortured in that house and losing themselves. Like the woman was ripping us apart every single second, like the only thing that was left was pain. I can't let this stand.
I have to save them. I won't be able to live with myself, if I can't.
But I
I can't hurt any of the people here to do it. I've got to find a way. I've got to.
And I can't go back there. If I have to experience something like that again, I don't think they'll be anything left of me.
Day 37
I got to talk with them. Everyone else. Hank, Connor, Viral, all of them. But then it just went wrong.
Someone hacked it, the simulation. What could I have done? No one said anything.
Han's freaking out. How can I convey that he's on our side without blowing his cover?
Day 39
I've received a message. I have to meet him, that damn man, the Headmaster, at the appointed time, or the dead
Or everyone in the simulation, something could happen to them. I don't think calling his threats would do anything, after someone infiltrated the fake séance. There's no way I can trust this.
But what choice do I have? The note said I'd receive the answers I wanted. Do I believe that?
I don't know. But for everyone's sake here. For Isabella, Zachary, Ashton, everyone who's caught in that unending nightmare.
I have to.
I hope this isn't the last I write in this.
Please, if anything's out there hearing me. I can't leave all of them on their own.
Day 10
The man Oswald has given us a promise of a reward. After making sure Mister Anderson was alright, I went to talk with Mister Young immediately.
What I learned, I never could've imagined. The man's a spy. He's undercover, apparently, here to investigate the anomalies of this bloody school. To investigate the organization Hale works for. In actuality, he knows nothing about us, was pulled in here at the start of his investigation. I wanted to scream it from the rooftops.
He told me no one could know. That the administration finding out would jeopardize everything. I don't know if I can trust him, but
But I can trust his fear.
I made him promise me, that if we get out of here, he would provide me with the technology to save Isabella, should it exist. Then I'll keep his secret.
Extorting a man, never thought anything would come to that. But here we are, I guess. For Isabella, I would do it.
And so I can stop feeling this unbearable guilt.
Day 14
Someone's killed. Someone who I spoke with and thought was a decent human. Damn him. Damn Grantaire, damn what he's making me think about and question. My feelings aren't anything like his, are they?
I can't say anymore.
To be focusing on this when someone died. Just what kind of person am I?
I spoke with Mister Young once more. He said, he was going to give me reason to trust him. He was trying to accomplish that by shutting down the robots that carried out Grantaire's execution.
It failed, of course. But he was at his wit's end. I think maybe he actually does want to help us.
It can't make me like him, though. He's self-important, self-centered. Didn't even understand why I would be so cold to him at first.
But, if he's undercover, maybe it explains a bit?
Day 15
I remembered something. It wasn't a dream. I remembered it. Comforting Ashton. It was too real to be a dream, and it wasn't like any of my normal nightmares. I've got to confront Mister Young about this, or the damn man Hale, if he'd just show his damn face.
Day 17
We're being made to hallucinate. I'm terrified. It's Belle, Ash, it's all reminding me of what I've lost. I'm terrified and I'm furious.
Hale's no help. The man's only in a position to appear like he has power, but he's being fucked around with like the rest of us. At least he seemed to actually listen when I told him, if he was an actual professor he'd care what his students were being put through. That he's no right to demand sympathy or respect, or anything like that.
He said he'd tell me whatever I wanted to know, that he did. But, with Belle haunting me, I couldn't concentrate. I'll step back in, when I've had time to catch my breath.
Day 21
I, Rebecca Gales, am dead.
At least, I was before all of this. Connor presented me with a photograph. I keep trying to wrap my head around it. I'm horrified thinking of it. Whatever killed Belle killed me too. And I forgot it. I completely forgot.
Mister Young told me the things we've received weren't fake. That wasn't fake. But isn't that the thing of it, then? They can bring people back. I'm proof. I was dead, I was undeniably dead, and these people plucked me up regardless. Mister Young discouraged me from pursuing this path. But I have to. With that, I could save Belle. I could stop all that shite from happening in Luxbourne. I need to find out how they did that, and I need to make it mine.
Don't give them a reason to tempt me? I won't. I'll steal it from them after clawing my way out of this hellish place.
Maybe, then, the ones who haven't deserved what's happened here too
In any case. I think I've formed an alliance with him. Mister Young. He willingly gave me all the information he could steal from the administration about the virus, D-756. Or whatever it is. Told me to tell everyone I forced it out of him. I understand why. I haven't exactly been subtle about my thoughts on the man. If suddenly I acted as if I trusted his information, if I acted like there was a reason he would just give it to me
It'd be suspicious. We've decided to keep up appearances. I don't particularly like him, but if he's on our side, we need as many allies as we can get. Connor also cares for him. Maybe I could try, for his sake, to see the good in Mister Young.
Apparently, he's part of the Five Eyes...or, at least a subordinate corporation. He's a literal spy. Bloody hell, just what've we all been pulled into? Such a group sent this man? Someone out in this damn world has to care about what they're doing. Someone has to come for us. I'll keep telling myself that.
He's cut off from his organization's database now, though. Everything he can give to me is whatever he can take from the administration, without them finding it out.
He told me there's a spy among us, for Hale. For the administration. While it's a horrid shock, we were already speculating it before. It makes it all the more important to get as much information about what's going on here and why they're doing it as possible.
I'll try my hardest to assist, but I don't see what I can do.
At least, today, he tried to save Viral as well. For that, I'll try to place my trust in him.
Day 22
I found something. Something awful. An article, ripped apart and covered in blood, with Mister Young's picture. He's covered in blood. I think he'd witnessed something horrible. I took it to him, right away. He had to be made aware that this was here, and honestly I wanted a few answers myself.
I didn't expect to hear from him that he didn't remember the event at all. He was confused. He didn't understand.
He didn't remember.
When that became clear, he thought it might've been faked, but for what purpose? We tried to put together just what it could mean. Because, someone tucked that away in the library, or left it here, and there's got to be a reason for it.
Maybe the administration's messing with his memories as well. Something is surely strange about all this. He doesn't remember events how Hale and Vivienne do. The end of the world they were talking about, it never happened. The world was fine, Mister Young said. The Five Eyes, they weren't aware of it either. Hell, no one was even aware the D-756 had a name beyond hijacking.
But at the same time, the more we talked the more distressed he appeared about his memory problems. I can surely relate. I think I'm worried about the man. He's our hope in here, but also
To witness such a thing and not remember it. I'd have to be a mad woman, not to find it in my heart to care.
We tried to put things together. But whatever theories we shared, nothing seemed to match up. Nothing seemed to make sense. About the article, or about whatever differences there were between the way Hale and Vivienne remember events and how his organization does.
In the end, he entrusted the article to me. It scared him. I can understand why. Not all of us keep a damn reminder that they should be dead in their notebook. This kind of information seems on par with that.
I'm worried. Everything's getting more complicated.
Day 27
Those absolute bawbags made it so I couldn't read a single damn word this week. Everything's a mess, with the stupid investigation and Maya and what I learned about Ash
But I have to try and jot down what I learned from Hale.
First of all. It's 2219. Even though the textbooks from 2219 look in disrepair, they aren't years old like I believed they were.
They brought the D-756 here, by experimenting with worlds. When I say they, I mean someone much higher up. This is the story that's been told to Hale. Some bloody idiots were playing with things they didn't understand and caused all this. So they developed a plan. Their Headmaster did.
The idea? They needed heroes to combat this virus. Those who were unable to be corrupted, maybe they would be immune to it. And then, through that, they could understand how to combat it. It's a bunch of shite, but that's the gist of it. They torture a bunch of us until they find the ones who won't break, and with different worlds there's a wider pool to choose from. Especially since they can't locate and don't know the identity of Patient Zero.
Disgusting.
In the end, Hale's not even sure what's true and what's not, that's been told to him. But he has someone who he wants to help. Jules, I think the others said. And he said if it took our blood, his blood, he'd stain the path to find a cure.
I think I pity him just as much as I hate him.
Day 29
Han says they're getting closer. They stopped a robot, and now he thinks they can stop all of them. It'd be good if it weren't even needed, if no one would raise to the damn bait, but what they say about patterns and all.
He says he's working on that too. I wish he'll be careful.
Day 36
I'm more than dead. We all were. I'm bloody cursed. I hadn't realized what that meant. I had to watch. I knew Belle was there but she felt so
I can't describe it. I was losing myself by the minute. Trapped in that damn house, unable to move or do anything but scream, scream and watch as Zach joined, as Ash was tortured, killed! As Luke lost his damn mind and was
I can't begin to describe it. It's too sickening. That's where they all are. Being tortured in that house and losing themselves. Like the woman was ripping us apart every single second, like the only thing that was left was pain. I can't let this stand.
I have to save them. I won't be able to live with myself, if I can't.
But I
I can't hurt any of the people here to do it. I've got to find a way. I've got to.
And I can't go back there. If I have to experience something like that again, I don't think they'll be anything left of me.
Day 37
I got to talk with them. Everyone else. Hank, Connor, Viral, all of them. But then it just went wrong.
Someone hacked it, the simulation. What could I have done? No one said anything.
Han's freaking out. How can I convey that he's on our side without blowing his cover?
Day 39
I've received a message. I have to meet him, that damn man, the Headmaster, at the appointed time, or the dead
Or everyone in the simulation, something could happen to them. I don't think calling his threats would do anything, after someone infiltrated the fake séance. There's no way I can trust this.
But what choice do I have? The note said I'd receive the answers I wanted. Do I believe that?
I don't know. But for everyone's sake here. For Isabella, Zachary, Ashton, everyone who's caught in that unending nightmare.
I have to.
I hope this isn't the last I write in this.
Please, if anything's out there hearing me. I can't leave all of them on their own.