good student "shirou"

[throwabookatit]

angra mainyu, more like My New Son

Comments

[throwabookatit]

[ Rebecca raises her eyebrows, surprised at first, but...well, the more he goes on, the more understanding she appears. ]

Someone once told me, the more you see things like this, the more you get used to it. The more you have to. I suppose...with how much you've experienced, and...what you remember experiencing, now, you're at that point now, huh?

[swordsinternally]

Yeah. I have memories of Emiya Shirou's life, so... I've seen a lot of death, through his memories. Ever since he was a child.

[throwabookatit]

And...your own memories? Are those still elusive, to you?

[swordsinternally]

There's not much to remember as myself. Not in life, anyway. But after I became like this... I'm pretty sure that I still have a lot of things that I've forgotten.

[throwabookatit]

Do you...want to remember them? From how you talked, about yourself, it seems... I don't mean to be presumptuous. This is probably an inappropriate question from...a woman trying to process her own grief.

[swordsinternally]

I have to, don't I? If I keep those memories locked up forever... then I'll just end up running away from myself.

[throwabookatit]

[ A light hum. ]

...You're a brave boy, Shirou. A...brave person.

[swordsinternally]

Well... it was bound to happen eventually. I might not like everything I remember. But I have to accept it.

[throwabookatit]

I'm sure, it'll be far beyond my experience. But, I- if you need...to talk about it, with someone, when you do remember... I'll be willing to listen.

[swordsinternally]

I'd appreciate that. And... the same goes for you too, sensei. If you want to talk about it.

[throwabookatit]

Ohh, I... I...wouldn't want to trouble any of you, with things like that. They're-- they're mostly...silly selfish matters, anyway. Or...confusing things.

[swordsinternally]

I honestly wouldn't mind at all. Even if it's selfish or confusing, it's better to at least talk to someone than to keep it all in.

[throwabookatit]

[ That's...true. Hm. ]

I appreciate the offer, Shirou. But... I'll think about it. Maybe once I...wrap my mind around more of it.

[swordsinternally]

That's alright. But just know that my offer's still going to be there.

[throwabookatit]

I'll remember. ...Thank you. For someone...who was made all the world's evil, you really... Really aren't what they tried to make you into.

[swordsinternally]

I think part of that kindness... came from understanding the memories of someone who was.

[throwabookatit]

Part of it. Some part of it's still you. You still had to be the one to understand, didn't you?

[swordsinternally]

Well, yeah. And I get his mindset... even if it's warped.

[throwabookatit]

Have a bit more...perspective like this, huh?

[swordsinternally]

Yeah. I can pretty much understand it from the outside.

[throwabookatit]

You've so much you're dealing with... Piecing together...your feelings, and his, and what...belongs to you.

But...I think whatever you want to belong to you, can.

[swordsinternally]

Even though there's a lot... I want to be able to help others, too.

[throwabookatit]

Then that's all you need, I think. ...You're still a good person, whoever you want to be, Shirou.

...Are you...really okay with being called that?

[swordsinternally]

Honestly?

[ He shrugs his shoulders. ] I don't know. Sometimes I want to be separate from this name, but... I wouldn't even know what I'd call myself.

[throwabookatit]

Maybe...we need to find you your own name.

...When everything's...a little calmer.